The Journey to Self Discovery

Hey darlings! 

Hope y’all are having a great week?

Many may ask the question, “What is self-discovery?” or “Do you mean you don’t know who you are”?

I can say with confidence that the moment a person truly starts down the path to self-discovery, they will never turn back.

The American English Dictionary defines self-discovery as follows:

🔸”Becoming aware of one’s true potential, character, motives, etc.”

🔸”The learning of what kind of person one really is, or what one really wants to do with one’s life”

Self Discovery means many things. It means finding your purpose in life (we all have purposes), it means digging deep into your childhood and revealing the experiences that shaped you… good and bad. It means realizing what your beliefs are and living by them. 

The effects of self-discovery includes happiness, fulfillment, clarity and even enlightenment! 

The journey however is not always an easy road. The journey includes fear, confusion, misunderstanding, doubt and literally re-visiting all your choices in life. I like to refer to it as spring-cleaning of the mind, your emotions and your surroundings (including the people in your life). It requires making some tough decisions and sticking to them. 

My journey so far has made me cut people out of my life. I call them the “takers.” They were takers because I allowed them to be and it wasn’t until I realized that many of these relationships were one-sided that I decided to cut them out. It has also made me completely change the course of my life and obviously start to follow my true passion and purpose. 

I have started to set intentions and no longer have expectations from anyone. This might seem really hard and it’s a work in progress. Instead I started to look within for answers. I’ve had several set backs along the way and I have no doubt, Life is full of challenges, but I’m not giving up.

What I know for sure is that the journey is worth taking. I have learnt how to pay attention to my feelings and understand myself better.

You might have been very hard on yourself for most of your life. You might not have been truthful with yourself and might have had unrealistic expectations therefore, setting yourself self up for disappointment.

Why do we do this? Why do we lie to ourselves? And more importantly, why do we allow ourselves to get away with it? When someone else lies to us and we find out about it, we then freak out. 

“How dare you lie to me? Do you think I’m stupid?” but, we lie to ourselves profusely and even cover up our own lies by accepting them as the truth in order to reassure ourselves that it’s okay.

There comes a freedom with accepting your feelings and emotions. It’s like a release of some sorts of happiness and relief. Like you’ve identified the elephant in the room and waved at him so you no longer have to pretend he’s not there. Once you acknowledge the elephant in the room he doesn’t bother you anymore. 

You learn to co-exist and be okay with it’s presence and not allow him to control how you act and feel anymore.

Yes! Being true to my feelings and acknowledging them as well as validating them has released so much fear in me. It has released my fear of not being good enough as well as my fear of not living up to the expectations I set for myself. 

But still I didn’t give up and I won’t. 

We are usually our own worst enemy. We hold ourselves back in so many ways and you must be ready to move away from that pattern.You must be ready to move from your comfort zone. 

P. S- Stop being your own worst enemy! Stop lying to yourself about your emotions and feelings. Start accepting them and allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. The freedom you will feel within yourself is a reward. However, the universe will give back the love you finally and justifiably started giving yourself.

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” 
— Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

Tips to Self discovery 

• Read books. Start by getting acquainted with the concept of self discovery. Learn the meaning of a personal inventory and how to handle what you find.
• Let God take charge of your life.
• Embrace what you discover about yourself
• Experiment with self-discovery activities
• Keep track of your progress
• Have a mentor
• Give yourself time, study yourself, your passions and aspirations. 
• Be true to yourself 
• Never compare yourself with someone else.

PS: Do you have any question or any contribution on this topic? Please feel free to share them in the comments section below. 👇

Have a great week! 

Your friend,

👑Dammie O. 💋